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oh come on.. hows that i can never think about a decent title? :S
by AManWithout @ 29.04.2008 - 04:52:04

i know.. its been a while..
its just.. since my bday i cant manage to write..
too many things to think about..

is there such thing as a 1/4 century shock?
i mean.. its 1/4 of a f++king godd@mned century!!!
and i feel my thoughts run thru my body..
changing and crushing my bones and my flesh..
and my brain.. (constant headache..)
and im not the person i used to be..
whats weird is.. im not supposed to notice that..

i start to think we are both running away from something..
and we just need someone to run to..
thats about my gf and me..
but maybe its generally true..

oh.. and we are gonna live together soon..
or at least thats the plan..
sometimes it doesnt feel right..
after only 2 months..
i guess i just do it because its harder alone..

and im still not in a state what id call bein in love..

and ive got bday texts from my ex..
not that id care..
it was just a dream.. maybe it was only in my head..
and we all have to wake up eventually..
and you cant be in love with a dream..
i guess now i can say im over it..
of course i wont ever forget..
but let the dead care with the past..

lately im feeling like a 12 year old..
so many things i want to do, so many things i want to be..
and its kindda depressing..
i mean.. im a bit old to chose life, chose a way..
shoudve done that 10 years ago..
and anyways.. one life is just not enough..
one life is not enough..
i wish i couldve known that when i was a child..
so many things id have done differently..

the meaning is.. theres one life to live..
and i have to make choices, take the risks and move..
making the wrong choice is still better than stayin put and let life pass us by..
because now im 25, you are 19, 40, 52 or whatever..
but soon people will stand well dressed staring at a hole that will swallow what once was you.. or me..
and belive me.. thats not what we want..
oh.. and be a nice man.. then your choice cant be too bad..

im just sick of wasting my life, im sick of others wasting their..
not that its my problem (even if it has an effect on my life..)
but still..

oh..
and im sick of london..
moving to somewhere else as soon as i can find a decent flat..
starts with m.. :)

sooo.. thats all i think..
a bit chaotic but what the hell.. :)

take care..

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SincerelyYoursSincerelyYours [Member]
2008-04-29 @ 22:31

Hey, I'd been wondering where you got to, I couldn't write much recently either.
I can't imagine being 25, it feels like I'm only just 18, time flies doesn't it? You could always think of it like this; in the U.S. they don't class you as an adult till you get to 21, and even then they still call you kids. So really, at 25, you've only just finished growing up, you still have a hell of a long way to go.
The trick to leading a great life easily is to not ask the big question, men have spent their entire lives trying to figure out 'why' just to find they never went out and lived in the first place. Make a memory every week, and the years will pass slowly, do the same thing all the time, and years will seem like days.
(Mid-comment apology; I right a lot because I haven't read anything from you in ages :P Plus, you think about very similar things to me :S)
Be careful about the girl, just because, you don't want to hurt her feelings if things go wrong, just tell her if things did break down and you'd got a place together, you'd need to be able to have some sort of plan of action..
Well, I think I've almost said too much, I don't mean to lecture :)
Good to see you again, and always remember this; You're only too old when you decide you are. Don't sell yourself short, there are plenty of people who'll do that for you.
Take care - Sorry again for the comment length :)

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AManWithoutAManWithout [Member]
2008-05-06 @ 05:37

well.. the problem with my age is that i feel like im 80
most of the time.. then for a day like id be 12..
and that drives me crazy..
(oh.. and thats not the only one weird thing about the US.. lol)

and i know i shouldnt ask the big question..
i just cant help it..
and the problem is that i feel like ive not made any memories yet..
i mean.. nothing id leave behind for ppl to remember me..

ah well..
thanks for the comment..
and sorry.. late reply..

take care..

(oh.. and i dont mind long comments.. at least i get feedback and different opinions.. thats useful..)

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