when i was a child life was so easy..
no matter what happened i knew theres an old guy called god sitting on one of the clouds taking care of me and everythings gonna be fine eventually..
now as i get to know more and more about the world and start to imagine the endless universe and the complexity of the subatomic world -even if i dont know too much about these things.. just reading random articles every now and then- im losing the last remaining bits of that childhood faith..
instead of finding peace in the thought of there being a god behind all those infinitely endless and complex things i cant help thinking we are all alone.. just a really bad joke of nature and all this god thing was invented to prevent us going absolutely nuts..
(and of couse to help some to handle others like flocks and herds..)
and theres nothing outside and only flesh, bones and blood inside..
and this is quite depressing.. makes me feel so unmeasurably small and hopelessly lost..
thing is im quite jelous when i see others with their beliefs and gods..
not because i dont have it.. its because they find peace and happiness in it..
and even if theres no god theyll never know.. and they are happy and looking forward some kind of afterlife and reward for their good deeds..
and i miss that terribly..
and its so unfair..
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- 06.05.2009 @ 11:46:46
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AManWithout
- 06.05.2009 @ 12:29:56
thats it.. faith is a gift.. cant be forced..
and i know the vicar since i was 3 and we still have a quite friendly relationship..
but i questioned my faith when i was like 12-13 and i dont even go to church for like 6 years now..
and i know quite a few vicars and priests even bishops they just cant help it..-
- 06.05.2009 @ 22:19:40
Yes . A gift . It seems that way . Try to at least have faith in yourself , and to like yourself , and to be open to positive possibilities ?
Best Wishes ,
Martin.-
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AManWithout
- 08.05.2009 @ 00:21:37
in theory it works..
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juliepenkova
Pro - http://juliepenkova.blog.co.uk
- 08.05.2009 @ 20:29:42
I know how both of you are feeling'
and it is a loss within your heart,
and even though you do not believe you feel something
and that is "distance" you feel not sure!!
But one good point said by Matin is have faith in yourself
Or if not faith understanding.
And just know that science can be in harmony with spirit
of heart as it is the biology of belief and molecule of
emotions and most of all the inner depth of the deepest
part of your heart the part we shield from hurt, fear,
anger,emotions ,feelings.
God is not that man on the cloud
God is the essence within you
The spirit which is your "life" the life you live everyday
and call a human existence.
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AManWithout
- 08.05.2009 @ 22:14:26
first of all thanks for the comment..
i do know science can be in harmony with spirit (as i can see the proof.. or at least people pretending with unexpected success)
the problem is sometimes theres nothing in the deepest parts of me or my hearth.. literally nothing at all..
and most of the time human existence is a disgrace of the universe.. or at least thats how i see it..
the problem is as i see is that theres nothing to fill the emptiness what the departure of god left behid..
no matter how you try theres just no way..
anyways..
thanks again..
take care-
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juliepenkova
Pro
- http://juliepenkova.blog.co.uk
- 08.05.2009 @ 22:27:36
I do no that empty feeling!!
I wish you much happiness in life for it is there if
you choose to look indepth through the uglyness that is
part of the downfall through what we see everyday in the media!!
and "HOPE" I really wish this for you!!
Kind regards
Julie X-
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AManWithout
- 08.05.2009 @ 22:37:44
thanks..
and im trying, even if its getting harder every day.. -
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arctictern
- http://arctictern.blog.co.uk
- 12.05.2009 @ 16:12:29
When I was 10 I had a major operation and cursed God for letting it be me. Why me for all this pain, why me? God was a bastard in my eyes if he couldn't answer a simple question like "why me?"
I never seeked comfort in God although when I broke my arm I called out "Oh God" really loud when the doctors twisted it and said "is it here where it hurts" and my mother said "I thought you didn't believe in God anymore". Secretly I think I was appealing to him to send down a thunderbolt onto this doctor.-
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AManWithout
- 12.05.2009 @ 19:13:42
yeah some say there are no atheists on falling planes etc..
its strange even lifelong atheists call god when something really hurts or theyre in a situation where theyre completely helpless..
i wonder whys it.... -
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I too feel a bit envious of people who have a strong , reassuring , supportive faith , and who who are part of a friendly , caring community of like-minded folk .
They say things like ' if you really want him to , just ask Christ to come into your life , and he will ' .
But that's just not realistic in my experience , and I can't force myself to have such a faith , can I .
If you want to try to get some of your lost faith back I expect that your local vicar would be pleased to sit down and chat with you about these things .
All The Best , Martin .